Sunday, August 16th, 2009

Possessions and Belongings

Yesterday I moved from the convenient comfort of the Retreat House into my 9’x13’ tent set under the sycamore, juniper and cottonwood trees overlooking the pond. Last night as the crickets serenaded my way in the dark to my new bed, I heard the movement of the deer in high grass. A new home is to be discovered.

I sit now with my pile of possessions and reflect upon the move that I just made. It took me three months to sort and box up my house. Outside of a table and chairs, desk, two end tables, four lamps, one bed, a couch, and a portal with a small couch and table and chair, my possessions fit into approximately 50 boxes with other odds and ends stuck in between. These possessions take up about 30% of a two-car garage.

I reduced my books to two boxes, my papers to two file drawers, clothes to one single closet and 4 boxes, and these are packed next to my 30 some journals that date back to junior high school when I wrote un-award winning poetry and swooned over Paul Anka.

In my tent, I look at the one duffle bag that holds my clothes and a few satchels of this and that, and the books I have chosen for the Journey:

Oxford American Dictionary

The Right to Write by Julia Cameron gifted by Susan Slotter

The Santa Fe Yellow Pages

I Am That by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

A Gradual Awakening by Stephen Levine

Mac OSX Tiger

My Summer with the Leprechauns by Tanis Helliwell gifted from Lin Reams

Vanishing into Everywhere by Rinaja Soleil gifted from Rinaja Soleil

Birdsong by Rumi

The Core Balance Diet By Marcelle Pick

A Death on the Barrens by George Grinnell gifted from Jane Perry

My Address Book

My Day Minder

All that is not essential has been stripped away. What needs to be carried? I looked at my knit tops yesterday and they looked tired and worn, when it moves me I will shop to replace them. All else appears to be in good order.

Possessions and belongings, what shall they be labeled? The word belongings has a ‘round’ feel to it as if the word itself could envelop me. Dear belongings, today I welcome all the things that give me pleasure. My journal and lantern, blanket, cozy socks, back rest, three mesh bags to organize the underwear are reflected upon this morning with a smile.

When I say ‘possessions’ out loud I feel like I pulled something from the outside into myself where it is now held hostage and taken it as mine. And in this journey of self to the Self, neither belongings nor possessions touch the closeness of emotions and sensory states arising and falling and dropping away like those old knit tops that have had their day.