The Introduction Ceremony

Down yet another dirt road which forks to the left and right and right and left and way back off the main drag, was a gathering of over five hundred people sitting under tents waiting for the party to begin. Here at this ceremony, the boy meets the girl’s father for the first time and presents the family with the wedding dowry.

Traditionally, the bride’s aunties have already met the boy and have given their approval. Now it is time for the future son-in-law to meet the soon to be father-in- law.

Sitting on the ground next to her aunties is the beautifully decorated bride. Her hair is bejeweled with ornaments and meticulously combed and braided; she is clothed in a brightly colored traditional dress. From this vantage point in the center of her guests, the dowry procession begins.

First twelve women in traditional dresses parade by with baskets of food balanced on their heads. Cases of soda and drinks are next. Then a silver colored suitcase is presented to the bride. It is unopened and I am told it is filled with clothing for her. It is the groom’s way of showing that he will feed and take care of her. Then comes the living room couch and overstuffed chair. This is presented to the father and the uncles. The men rise and take their place on the living room set luxuriating in the feel of new furniture as the boy awaits his approval.

At this point there is a break in the ceremony and Rev. Isaac and I are taken into a back room of the house where the boy, the father, the priests and uncles are gathered. The mother and aunties stand behind the circle. A blessing is given and basket of coffee beans is passed around. Each of us takes a bean, cracks it open and eats the two seeds that are inside.

In the old days, the boy and girl would make a cut in their bellies enough for them to bleed. The two seeds were coated with this blood and exchanged, each eating the seeds of the other ceremoniously creating a bond between. With the advent of AIDS, this is no longer done , but the eating of seeds is still carried out.

When this blessing is finished we assume our rightful place under the tents with the other 500 guests and enjoy a traditional meal served in banana leaves. I breathe it in, I’m in Africa at a very unusual event.